Photo by Jeff Kepler on Unsplash

My old drinking buddy still drinks and since I’ve quit, we’ve grown apart. She’s digging herself an early grave. I can see it — now. I was doing the same thing. We’ve talked about it but it’s a touchy subject. And just because I want her to quit isn’t a good enough reason. She has to want it.

I found a site today called Hip Sobriety. The message on their home page alone is powerful. I passed it along to her this morning. She wrote back saying she’s quit overindulging. That’s a start. I celebrate every positive step.

From personal experience, I didn’t listen to anyone about my drinking while I was in the midst of my love affair with being numb.

I was defensive and in denial. I carried inside deep shame and embarrassment. How could I, a reasonable person, continue to consume things I knew were slowly killing me?

It was April 2013 and I was in the hospital for the umpteenth time. I stepped outside in the courtyard to smoke a cigarette. It was frowned upon but allowed outside six short years ago. I called my friend but got her voice mail. I didn’t leave a message. I knew in that moment I was alone and it was up to me. Do I want to live or do I want to die?

“What people have the capacity to choose, they have the ability to change.” —Madeleine Albright